Course Overview with Judy Delozier

Judy: So let us just talk a little bit about the goals for the course. I know some of you have probably seen them already. They were on the online material, I am sure. Just to mention them quickly, on page number four it is an overview with the course. This is NLP use commitment to you that you will leave here with these skills. These are not anything you do not already deeply know, just what I say because we are human. We probably know a whole lot about it, a whole lot more than we think we know about these things. But as all humans, I love that quote from-- he is an economist, "Humans are emotional and we make bad decisions." I think sometimes that is pretty accurate, but this would be our commitment to you. The recognition and utilization of sensory representational systems and sub-modalities that means I have not been anywhere in the world where people do not have internal images, have dreams and sometimes vivid, sometimes sense impression, but we visualized. 

Judy: Whether I work in Africa or whether I work in China or whether I work in Malaysia or whether I work in Canada does not seem to matter. People have images that we talk to ourselves. We talk to ourselves in different languages probably but we talk to ourselves. We have feelings, we have sensations and we also have emotions and we also recognize sounds. Those are our basic filters on the world. Those are our windows and doors to the outside world. We see and hear and feel things from the outside goes inside. We start to build a map of something, right?

Judy: Then, there are qualities of each of those ideas. So if I am a visual person, that image, if I see an image of a loved one before me right now, like my granddaughters or my son or my dear daughter-in-law or my little buddy rabbit. I have a white rabbit. He is a rescue bunny. He was rescued. His name is Mr. B and he was very cool. But if I make an image of them then it has certain qualities. It could be in color or not, right? It could be black and white or it could be in color or it could be moving. It could be still or it could have a boundary or not. It could have a big, it could have a sort of panoramic view. It could be big or it could be little. I could be in there with them or not. So it is this got certain qualities announced what the sub-modalities are about. 

Judy: The sounds sometimes people talk really fast. So you got tempo and you have got pitch or pitch. Is it high or low? Is it fast or slow? Is it loud or soft? Where is it located? Is it sound like it is back here? Is it sound like it is open? It has those certain qualities in my experience, right? Sensations as well. Is it warm? Is it cool? Is it textured or not textured? Is it a marshmallow? So you get the sense of that and then we talk to ourselves. Sometimes we say nice things and sometimes we do not, right? Sometimes it is my voice saying, "Oh Judy, I cannot believe you did that again." Sometimes it is somebody else's voice. Sister Mary Annunciata from the first grade, "Hey, Judy!" Crap, what have I done? 

Judy: We all know this. This is a human thing and I have not met a human that does not do it unless there is been some sort of organic damage of some kind. So you get some ideas about that, you will use a lot of that and that is the structure of a strategy, right? We are going to make a decision about something. I am going to buy a new car, I wish. Anyway, then I go and I see a bunch of cars. I look at a bunch of cars and I have some great ideas. I have some great images of cars. Maybe I sat in a few of them. I just want to feel. Test drive a little bit. So I have four, five cars and I have images of those cars. This is my strategy and they all have prices. That is going to play a role. But then I go which one do I feel most comfortable in? Most connected to? Then I choose and that is the structure of how we create strategies. 

Judy: How many people here have been jealous in your life? Be honest. Jealous. Jealous. Yes, not you. No. Okay. Let me seriously, you got to have been jealous.

Male Audience Member: Yes.

Judy: Come on. Everybody fess up. Okay. So how did you do that? This is where being human really is interesting because you go-- My guess is and this where you can guess regardless of the content, you talk to yourself and you made images about possibilities that may or may not be happening in the real world. You had a response of kinesthetic or an emotional or physical response to that as if it were true, right? Pretty much it. That is because we are humans. The form of those things is pretty human. The content is different. The content's life, right? That is the beauty of it. 

Judy: That is sort of that idea. Predicates? I see what you are saying. What are the clues that you could hear from the outside? They give you a clue to what is happening on the inside. A long time ago when Richard and John were trying to figure out representational systems and such. You say to your friends you go, "Hey, you want to go see a movie tonight?" She goes, "Let us see," right? She makes this movement and goes, "Let me see. Yes, I do." Now they just went, "Oh my god. Do you think there is actually a relationship between that movement, that word, and an internal event?" There was, and the person you go to, "What are you doing?" "I was just looking at the newspaper to see what was playing." So that is the spirit of those predicates, that feels really good to me. It sounds really good. Something does not smell right here, right? You get all these amazing representational systems. Words that give us clues on the outside to what is potentially happening on the inside as well as we get clues with the eyes. That is the eye accessing patterns because it is different parts of the brain that are in charge of different parts of our experience, whether it is visual or kinesthetic or auditory. It stimulates different parts of the brain just like if I move this side of my body is different than if I move this side of my body. 

Judy: Now with the Neuroscience, I mean, they are really supporting everything we have been babbling about for these last thirty-five or whatever years, forty years. So this is good. We say I am not a scientist. I am an Explorer. Let somebody else do the research. Great. Those accessing cues that I talked about like I think I understand what you are saying. How do you think the person's understanding when they are pointing at their ear? How they are understanding? If they are giving you some really interesting clues that they are doing it auditorily or, "Yes, I understand what you are saying. I get it." Getting an image. These are good clues. Sometimes they are generally very accurate. Sometimes you have to ask some more questions to get it more clarified, but they are pretty accurate.

Judy: Emotional states. Well, you did some of that yesterday, right? Crash versus coach. We all know when we start to shut ourselves down make ourselves smaller, get kind of trapped in and this becomes a veil. It becomes a veil in the way we see the world. A veil in our perception, right? We start to see the world is opaque through there. It is not very connected anymore. The kind of response to that is how do I reorganize myself and get back to this coach state? So I am present and I am connected and I am not only connected to myself but then I can connect to the world, right? If somebody is going, "Yes, that was great. Yes, boy. I loved it. Every minute of it was just fabulous." What are you going to believe the words or the analog? Which is believable?

Judy: Even if you go cognitively what they are saying is, "Yes, that was really great." The voice tone, the body posture everything else is going. It is at least ambiguous, right? So sort of calibrating over time those key states. It is going to be really, really important and we are going to start this morning. When we do the presuppositions exercise. We will kind of start with that. Yes?

Female Audience Member: Why is the body's position is more reliable than words when it comes to decoding with the other person is trying to say?

Judy: Well, I do not know that it is more or less important but it is important to have awareness that there is a discrepancy. So that you go-- there is at least something going on there maybe it is a conflict for example, in the person.

Female Audience Member: When I have to react, I would react to your body language, not to your words?

Judy: Yes. Yes, I would at least hold them both.

Female Audience Member: Is there a reason why body language is like the first thing we read? 

Judy: Well, it is an interesting question. I mean, you have a whole other world before you learn a language. I like to think of it because NLP third-generation is a very energetic model. I have been waiting for an energetic model because we are energetic beings, right? You have a great cognitive model, which is the first generation. You have a great relational model which is a second-generation, and we have a great third model now, this third generation, which is an energetic model.

Judy: Years and years ago, of course, this is my alma mater here at the University of California of Santa Cruz when I was studying here. Carlos Acosta is both all the rage. I do not know if you know Carlos Acosta but he was just a crazy Anthropologist. People do not even know if it was still real or not. It did not really matter informative. This guy is from LA and he is doing his doctorate in Ethnopharmacology. Yes, right. Ethnopharmacology. He goes to Mexico to study the influence of drugs, basically. He goes to a shaman and the shaman is named, Don Juan Matisse. Don Juan is a Yaqui sorcerer. He has a beautiful quote where he says look, "All children are born sorcerers," which means they are the system. We are the system as children and as babies, right? The first thing that happens is that our attention is trained. We are trained to pay attention to certain things as important and other things as not important or do not even notice it at all. You do not even go there. Do not even go there. 

Judy: We start to then build an attentional map. Pay attention to this. This is important. Do not stick your finger in the fire when he is a kid. Every kid has been burned once at least, I am sure because you just have to test the world. We are the system, right? And then you start to build this attentional map. A couple of years old you start to really learn the language and that solidifies the map. This, when I talk, I am talking linearly, right? A word for word. First-word, second word, it is a linear conversation. It is probably different if we go to Chinese and where we have iconic more of a symbolic. It captures a plethora of meanings. Even in China I have seen people carrying on a conversation and they can see the confusion in the language and they are drawing the word out with their hands. So the other person knows exactly what you are saying because otherwise, they go, "I am not sure." So you got to get the right icon or the right symbol.

Judy: This whole system, the body, is dealing all with the sets of relationships. It is a much bigger part of the iceberg than this thing that comes into consciousness called language, which is just the tip of the iceberg. That is the way I think about it. I hope that helps.

Female Audience Member: Thank you.

Judy: No, it is my pleasure.

Judy: I remember writing the encyclopedia with Robert and we got--the most funny is it took four years to write the encyclopedia. It was like sixteen hundred pages. I always say it is pretty much everything I know. We got to the entry on beliefs. The thing that made it so much fun to do this encyclopedia was that we would spend hours talking about one little concept. Trying to get the right entry into the encyclopedia. How do we really want to represent this? We would have these incredibly rich conversations. So this was around beliefs and I remember there was this point at which Robert stopped and looked at me and he goes, "Judy? Judy, are you saying that beliefs are the body?" and I go, "Pretty sure," because if I have a belief that gets really pushed. If I have a deep something in me that I believe and that gets pushed and my blood pressure goes up and I start to sweat and I feel my whole body mobilized. I am not doing that consciously. I am not going, "Okay Judy. All right now." Now mobilize, "Okay. Okay, now make your armpit sweat," "Okay." Now it is all happening in the body, right? So that is another good kind of point about it. Things that are happening below the neck. If I go, "I have a goal. I am going to get to that goal. I am going to get there and I take two steps forward and three steps back over and over again." I go, "Well, who is running the show?"

Judy: Cognitively, I really want to get there. Cognitively, I have this dream of this vision. I am moving. I am ready, but something keeps pulling me back that is not my cognitive mind. Somebody else is flying the plane and those moments is how I think about. The pilot says to the copilot, "Boy, you are in trouble." Forgetting they occupied the same plane.

Judy: Since a rapport that connection I think perceptual positions will give you a good taste of that as well as you will learn a lot of interactive skills. So if my friend here Joe Night, Joe Night starts talking about a dream and a vision she has and something she wants to achieved and I start talking about feels like this to me. She may go, "But it is not a feeling Judy. It is an image." So that I can stay connected enough with her process. That also creates the rapport.

Judy: Deep structures of language you are going to do that this afternoon. If my friend Joe says, "Judy, I am just looking for success." Then I go, "Success is a beautiful word. It is a great normalization. It is a beautiful thing." We use that kind of language all the time. We cannot. We do it in prayer. We do it in politics sadly, but we do it in prayer. We do it in poetry. It is a beautiful, beautiful form. But if I am trying to achieve that success somehow I cannot, then I want to go deeply into what is the meaning of that word in the experience with the deep structure of that human being. What is that really mean? Am I looking for success? Like I would look for spaghetti at the grocery store. I cannot weigh it. I cannot put it on the scale. I cannot put it in a wagon, you know what I mean? It is one of those words that is actually a process that is just been rarefied and kind of turn to stone but people do. We get people to go around looking for love like they are looking for marbles. It did not work out so well. 

Judy: Establishing well-formed outcomes and so that you consider all representational systems and also the ecology having it be an ecological kind of idea. Anchoring skills like where is my thing like this becomes an anchor for what? Attention? Yes. So it says, "Okay." It is time to come back. It is an anchor that just reminds us. I always like to use-- if you ever fell in love-- had everybody been in love? Yes? Did you have a favorite song? If you are driving down the road one day maybe you were eighteen years old and you hear this song and you go, "Oh my God, so there." It is like this freight train to the past. I used to go home and visit my parents and I would walk through the door of my parent's house that I grew up in and the smells and the cookies and my mom's making. All the pictures that have never been changed in a hundred years. It is like how old am I? I think I am like fifteen now instead of thirty-five. Those are all ways to think about anchoring.

Judy: From an NLP point of view, how do we use that to help a person sort of stabilize and experience so they can bring awareness? So that they can shift it. Start to shift it, right? I do not think about changing anything necessarily but putting enough awareness around something that the whole system can start to reorganize. That I can get out of my way and is how I say it. I have to get out of my way enough sometimes that my system can find new homeostasis or a new now. Is that make sense? Yes?

Judy: Managing our personal states. Well, yes, we have them, do not we? Anybody got any bad states you find yourself? I guess they are not bad that state you find yourself getting into and going whoa, where did I go? What did the heck happen? Yes, great. Because then everybody has them it means you are alive. It is a gift because there is learning there. That is how I think about it. It is a gift. Again, it is a veil, right? It is another way to think about what is that veil that comes down under certain circumstances and is not there under other circumstances. I get curious.

Judy: Strategies and reframing, those will be which I mentioned strategies a little bit, and then this idea of positive intention or reframing. If a little kid does something, a two-year-old does something and you understand they are not negatively intended, right? They are two years old. They do not know. They do not have a negative intention. You respond to that completely different then if an adult does something as silly as a two-year-old can do sometimes and you might assume a negative intention. Well, the idea of reframing and positive intention is, you do not have to like the behavior, and behaviors can change and should change under a lot of circumstances in which we have more choice about our behaviors. I have to go get very curious about what is the positive intention and where is it living? It does not assume that it is all positive intention to me, right? I cannot assume that the world is always positively intended towards me, but I know when something happens that there is a positive intention in there somewhere. That the person is trying to get to and they do not have a lot of choices. So let me give you an example. It is one of my favorites.

Judy: My friend Ann Entus. I tell this a lot. She is now passed away and I am sure reorganizing heaven as we speak. She is a powerful woman, an amazing woman. A real survivor. She survived the Holocaust. She was a Polish Girl. Her family went to Russia. She was in an account for five years from the time she was five until she was ten. Came out of the camp immigrated to... I think they originally wanted to immigrate to the US but ended up immigrating to Canada and then her mom and her sister and her dad eventually emigrated to Israel but Ann stayed in Canada and taught it at McGill University there, and has a Doctorate as the Doctor in Psychology at McGill. She was a monster language learner. So, of course, she grew up speaking Polish and Hebrew in the home, and then she went to Tashkent which is where she was in the camp. She learned Russian and she learned Tashkent and then she came to Canada and she learned French. She learned English and then she decided-- we went to Bali in 1984 and she came to Bali and she found her home. 

Judy: She found her home there. She went, "I am home. I am really home." She just sparkled there. She just sparkled and so she ended up buying a home and everything there. Well, we used to do training there. We are doing this training one time and this lovely woman comes from New York City. She is a psychiatrist, very educated. Very smart, very amazing woman and Ann, my friend Ann loved Bali so much that she dressed traditional Balinese and she wore her hair traditionally. She was very loved by the Balinese people in her village. Well, this lady arrives and she goes, "Why are you dressed like that? That looks ridiculous. Are you making fun of these people? You should be ashamed of yourself. A woman your age for the love of God, what are you doing?" I was shocked. Ann was shocked. I was shocked and finally, I just stopped her. I said "What? What are you trying to achieve by saying these things? I am just really curious. What is it you think you will achieve by saying these things to her?" She says, "Well, I want her to feel bad." Well, if I stop there, I do not find a positive intention, right? So I go, "Well, what good does it do for her to feel bad?" I mean, where you get out of this? I am really curious and she goes, "It is how I feel good," then I understood. Her positive intention was just she wants to feel good. She just does not have a very good strategy for feeling okay with herself. Her strategy is to diminish another person in order to feel good and go, wow curious, huh? I think that is the importance of-- this is part of these presuppositions. I have to assume it but I am also might have to go looking for it. I might have to ferret it out and I have to get very curious about it. It is not just going to be random, right? 

Judy: Okay, so I think we got it. Are we good? Then, there are the models. You will get the models as we go along and the tools and the outcome.